When my mom passed away in May of 2020, a part of me died too. The part of me that enjoyed writing and putting my feelings into words. I got that from her. As a young girl she would always write me notes, letters and tell me her feelings – whether good or bad. I always felt her love through her notes, cards etc. I decided that I need to get back to that. Writing always has helped me heal, process and share how I was feeling. What better way to get back at it then writing about my daughter Maddie who is 22 today. Happy Birthday!
With today being her birthday, I cannot help but look at my feelings and thoughts I want to share with a specific person. This person I don’t know, she won’t even see these words that I write, but I still want to share them. This person is Maddie’s birth mom. She was the very young age of 16 when she gave birth a world away in South Korea. Being a birth mom myself, I understand that decision at such a young age.
I want her to know what a beautiful young woman her birth daughter has become. She is quirky at times and owns it. She feels BIG emotions and isn’t afraid to show them and wear them on her sleeve. She says exactly what is on her mind – good or bad, appropriate or not. She goes after what she wants. She loves spending money! She loves to sing and perform. She is funny, loud and wants to be heard when she has things to say. I often think people could learn a thing or two from these traits…I mean how good would it be if we all let out our feelings at full strength and showed how we truly felt…..how good it would feel to say exactly what’s on your mind vs holding it all in because we are afraid of how we would look or be seen.
After years of struggling with cliques and the normal high school kids, she finally found a couple very good friends that mean the world to her. They are her people and she loves them dearly. So much so that this is the first birthday she is spending with them vs. family 🙂 It brings my heart such joy to see her having fun and being accepted by peers for who she is.
As a mom she has taught be about patience, respect and standing up for the people we love. She was my first baby that I held. She, like my mom, always helps me see the other side of things…why people act the way they do and acceptance to those who are different. She is fierce and determined and now as an adult those traits will be her positive traits in life. She is very black and white, but that leaves no second guessing about how she feels, thinks and acts about things.
On this her 22nd, birthday my wish is that someday you will meet her and see what a wonderful young woman she has become.
Saeng-il chugha haeyo (Happy Birthday) Madeline. I love you.
Jill Murphy 