Jillsy's Blog

being a wife…birth mom…adoptive mom….dealing with infertillty & life

Gays, Transgenders and oh yeah, pedophiles… April 29, 2016

Filed under: anxiety,family,gay,inclusion,respect,transgender,Uncategorized — jillsy @ 3:26 pm

Let’s have a teachable moment. According to Merriam Webster the following words are described as follows:

Gay: sexually attracted to someone who is the same sex

Transgender: of, relating to, or being a person who identifies with or expresses a gender identity that differs from the one which corresponds to the person’s sex at birth

Pedophile: a person who has a sexual interest in children

Inclusive: open to everyone; not limited to certain people

Ignorant: lacking knowledge or information

Bathroom:  room in a public place with a toilet and a sink

Ok, now that you have all the definitions of all the buzz words with public bathrooms, why is there such debate? Only ONE word above affects children being preyed on in bathrooms….PEDOPHILE.

I know people are sick of hearing all the bathroom craziness of Target and other establishments and the regards to transgender. IN MY OPINION, it is ridiculous. The majority of people who use a bathroom at a public store, restaurant or any other establishment other than home, simply HAVE TO PEE. That is it. The majority of people who use the restroom go into a stall and shut the door and do their business. But because a person maybe in all ways identifying as a particular sex with exception to their “plumbing” we assume our children are at harm and going to be assaulted?  That thought  is just asinine (defined as: just stupid and silly).

PEDOPHILES are the ones who prey on children. You can’t recognize them on the street or in the bathrooms, they are sick human beings who find children sexually attractive. THAT is what is sick and disgusting. Teachers, priests, babysitters, relatives and the next door neighbors of children can be pedophiles. Half the time we don’t even know this until perhaps years have passed and an assault has taken place.

People who are gay or transgender are not out to harm our children. Plain and simple: they either find people of the same gender sexually attractive. Transgender just means they are born looking one way but all of who they are identifies another way.

It is not a religious debate, a political debate or even a sexual debate. It is being inclusive and allowing people who are woman (or define their selves as a woman) to pee in a women’s bathroom – and same for men.

Seriously – #PEOPLE JUST HAVE TO PEE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the little things… April 11, 2016

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I got this text this morning from my daughter. I realize it is just a text. Especially in the world of devices, online communication and teenagers it doesn’t seem like a big deal. But if you knew my daughter, you would understand how this small gesture made my whole week. (and it’s a MONDAY!)

My daughter and I argue daily…DAILY. Multiple times a day. Now do the math….times a week….times a month….etc etc. Which makes this mom one tired and crazy nut job at times. Why this mom loves quiet time at night watching meaningless TV with a glass of wine – ALONE.

Part of the arguing daily is she is a typical teenage girl. The other part is her NVLD (non verbal learning disorder). It plays a huge part in her social interaction. While she can talk non stop, she has a hard time relaying emotions/feelings. Things are black and white. Empathy is rarely expressed. Reading social cues is a daily struggle. more info on NVLD

So naturally when you have all that, the pressure of school and trying to make and keep a simple friend is hard and tiring. Then come home from school – exhausted from trying to keep up with what we call “normal” and be expected to be 100% respectful and social is just plain crazy and not achievable. While she can come across exhausting, argumentative and disrespectful a lot of the time….she has her moments that shine brighter than any other star out there. This text was one of them.

I have learned over these fun teen years that I need to really take in the little things. They may not seem big and grandiose to many of you, but to me and my beautiful daughter they are HUGE.

*another god article on NVLD      What is NVLD?

 

 

 

 

 

High school mom fears…. August 28, 2015

Filed under: anxiety,anxiety in kids,family,inclusion,mom,respect,Uncategorized — jillsy @ 9:16 am

 

My oldest daughter starts high school in a few short weeks. How can that be possible? Wasn’t it just May 2001 when we were getting her from Korea? Wasn’t it her first day of Kindergarten as she ran onto the bus with no fear? Wasn’t it the day she lost her first tooth? Wasn’t it just the day she rode her bike without training wheels? Time certainly does fly by. They always tell us “Enjoy this time, it all goes by so fast”. Fast is an understatement…

While I am super excited for her, I also am nervous for her. Neither one of us are sleeping well lately, I think it is the anxiety we both share. Hers about getting to class on time, opening a whole new locker, getting up earlier, getting good grades. Mine about making friends, be accepted, doing well, and having people see the awesome young woman I see.  I had the same fears as she entered middle school. A whole new school of people that didn’t know her, her challenges  and all her great qualities.

She made a goal list the other day for the new upcoming year. I will share a few…

~ Find some friends that are girls.

~ Try to get mostly A’s and B’s.

~ Really challenge myself and STUDY!

~ Start with saying HI and be smiley and friendly.

~Get to classes quickly and on time.

~Finally, be the best 9th grader I can be!

I love her list. While most kids her age see that list and think “piece of cake!” – for her each statement is a HUGE thing for her. I love the confidence she has. I believe she can accomplish all those things on that list. As a momma bear, I need to let go a bit more and let her succeed on her own. With that also comes letting her fail on her own too. That is the harder part. When you have a child that struggles with social skills, school work, and fitting in – you can’t help but worry 24/7. You want her to be the girl with friends, not fake friends that roll their eyes at her and bully her because she is different. Her “different” is beautiful. She is funny, talented, smart, strong, fashionable, goofy, confident. I want others to see the beautiful in that.

I need to have her confidence this year! While I can’t wait for school to start by this time of the summer, I also can wait for it – my girl is growing up…too fast.