anxiety, family, gay, inclusion, respect, transgender, Uncategorized

Gays, Transgenders and oh yeah, pedophiles…

Let’s have a teachable moment. According to Merriam Webster the following words are described as follows:

Gay: sexually attracted to someone who is the same sex

Transgender: of, relating to, or being a person who identifies with or expresses a gender identity that differs from the one which corresponds to the person’s sex at birth

Pedophile: a person who has a sexual interest in children

Inclusive: open to everyone; not limited to certain people

Ignorant: lacking knowledge or information

Bathroom:  room in a public place with a toilet and a sink

Ok, now that you have all the definitions of all the buzz words with public bathrooms, why is there such debate? Only ONE word above affects children being preyed on in bathrooms….PEDOPHILE.

I know people are sick of hearing all the bathroom craziness of Target and other establishments and the regards to transgender. IN MY OPINION, it is ridiculous. The majority of people who use a bathroom at a public store, restaurant or any other establishment other than home, simply HAVE TO PEE. That is it. The majority of people who use the restroom go into a stall and shut the door and do their business. But because a person maybe in all ways identifying as a particular sex with exception to their “plumbing” we assume our children are at harm and going to be assaulted?  That thought  is just asinine (defined as: just stupid and silly).

PEDOPHILES are the ones who prey on children. You can’t recognize them on the street or in the bathrooms, they are sick human beings who find children sexually attractive. THAT is what is sick and disgusting. Teachers, priests, babysitters, relatives and the next door neighbors of children can be pedophiles. Half the time we don’t even know this until perhaps years have passed and an assault has taken place.

People who are gay or transgender are not out to harm our children. Plain and simple: they either find people of the same gender sexually attractive. Transgender just means they are born looking one way but all of who they are identifies another way.

It is not a religious debate, a political debate or even a sexual debate. It is being inclusive and allowing people who are woman (or define their selves as a woman) to pee in a women’s bathroom – and same for men.

Seriously – #PEOPLE JUST HAVE TO PEE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

anxiety, family, inclusion, mom, Non Verbal Learning Disorder, respect, Uncategorized

It’s the little things…

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I got this text this morning from my daughter. I realize it is just a text. Especially in the world of devices, online communication and teenagers it doesn’t seem like a big deal. But if you knew my daughter, you would understand how this small gesture made my whole week. (and it’s a MONDAY!)

My daughter and I argue daily…DAILY. Multiple times a day. Now do the math….times a week….times a month….etc etc. Which makes this mom one tired and crazy nut job at times. Why this mom loves quiet time at night watching meaningless TV with a glass of wine – ALONE.

Part of the arguing daily is she is a typical teenage girl. The other part is her NVLD (non verbal learning disorder). It plays a huge part in her social interaction. While she can talk non stop, she has a hard time relaying emotions/feelings. Things are black and white. Empathy is rarely expressed. Reading social cues is a daily struggle. more info on NVLD

So naturally when you have all that, the pressure of school and trying to make and keep a simple friend is hard and tiring. Then come home from school – exhausted from trying to keep up with what we call “normal” and be expected to be 100% respectful and social is just plain crazy and not achievable. While she can come across exhausting, argumentative and disrespectful a lot of the time….she has her moments that shine brighter than any other star out there. This text was one of them.

I have learned over these fun teen years that I need to really take in the little things. They may not seem big and grandiose to many of you, but to me and my beautiful daughter they are HUGE.

*another god article on NVLD      What is NVLD?

 

 

 

 

anxiety, anxiety in kids, family, inclusion, mom, respect, Uncategorized

High school mom fears….

 

My oldest daughter starts high school in a few short weeks. How can that be possible? Wasn’t it just May 2001 when we were getting her from Korea? Wasn’t it her first day of Kindergarten as she ran onto the bus with no fear? Wasn’t it the day she lost her first tooth? Wasn’t it just the day she rode her bike without training wheels? Time certainly does fly by. They always tell us “Enjoy this time, it all goes by so fast”. Fast is an understatement…

While I am super excited for her, I also am nervous for her. Neither one of us are sleeping well lately, I think it is the anxiety we both share. Hers about getting to class on time, opening a whole new locker, getting up earlier, getting good grades. Mine about making friends, be accepted, doing well, and having people see the awesome young woman I see.  I had the same fears as she entered middle school. A whole new school of people that didn’t know her, her challenges  and all her great qualities.

She made a goal list the other day for the new upcoming year. I will share a few…

~ Find some friends that are girls.

~ Try to get mostly A’s and B’s.

~ Really challenge myself and STUDY!

~ Start with saying HI and be smiley and friendly.

~Get to classes quickly and on time.

~Finally, be the best 9th grader I can be!

I love her list. While most kids her age see that list and think “piece of cake!” – for her each statement is a HUGE thing for her. I love the confidence she has. I believe she can accomplish all those things on that list. As a momma bear, I need to let go a bit more and let her succeed on her own. With that also comes letting her fail on her own too. That is the harder part. When you have a child that struggles with social skills, school work, and fitting in – you can’t help but worry 24/7. You want her to be the girl with friends, not fake friends that roll their eyes at her and bully her because she is different. Her “different” is beautiful. She is funny, talented, smart, strong, fashionable, goofy, confident. I want others to see the beautiful in that.

I need to have her confidence this year! While I can’t wait for school to start by this time of the summer, I also can wait for it – my girl is growing up…too fast.

anxiety, believe, depression, santa, Uncategorized

Joyful Jill…

JOYA good friend’s daughter I call “Lovely Leah” nicknamed me “Joyful Jill” or just “Joyful” for short. That got me thinking….and realizing: I am Joyful. Finally. My last blog post I was in a bad place…winter blues aka SAD, overwhelmed with my “Holiday TO DO List”, and just plain old bitchy. I did call my Dr….she changed my medicine and now after a few days…I am back! I feel like myself again.

My friends, co-workers and family: It’s ok!! I am BACK! Thank you for your love, lifesaver books, kind words and being YOU!

My hubby is a saint….not to mentioned relieved that I am “back”. He would lovingly pick up the slack, let me sulk and sleep, and walk with the utmost quietness on all those egg shells around me…like avoiding a land mine. My kids are happy to see me smile and have fun. And good old Gracie (that ever loved Elf on the Shelf) has been moved by my girls 🙂

While I had that I need an anxiety medicine to make me feel “normal”, I realize that I do NEED it. I will not feel bad about that. Instead I will swallow that little (actually horse size) capsule with a big old glass of water and enjoy life. Enjoy family. Enjoy this, the most wonderful time of the year – oh and if you feel or hear the biggest let down sigh tomorrow morning – don’t worry, it’s just my children being pissed that they did NOT get an iphone for Christmas! However they did get some nice things they NEEDED not necessarily WANTED. Someday when the self centered teen years are behind them…they too will realize that is not what Christmas is all about! In the words of The Grinch (also my former personality):

“Maybe Christmas he thought doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more”

I wish you all a Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah, Happy Festivus…..and a wonderful HAPPY New Year!

anxiety, anxiety in kids, depression, mom, Uncategorized

Evil Twin…

Image I have an evil twin. She looks just like me, talks just like me, has same mannerisms as I do and most people are fooled that it is me. I don’t like my evil twin. She comes in out of nowhere – usually in the winter. She comes in and yanks the rug out from under me in a slow unnoticeable way. She makes me feel so tired and always craving sleep. She takes my creativity and stomps on it til its dead. She takes my energy and tosses it out the window like a dead limp cat. She swats away my patience and self esteem with the ease of shooing away a pesky mosquito. She takes my love and thoughtfulness towards my family and turns it into annoyance and dislike. She makes me want to eat and drink away my feelings, so yes I blame her for weight gain. She turns me into a no good,lazy, helpless, worthless pile of sadness. She makes me just get thru the day just barely and sends me to bed early, crabby and spent. She takes a day full of possibilities and opportunities and turns it into a day I just need to get through. She makes me grind my teeth at night, toss and turn and get bad sleep. She puts me into hiding and gives me the “poor me” syndrome. She keeps me away from my friends. This evil twin has a two names;  Anxiety and Depression. She is always with me – but in winter she is the annoying guest that never leaves. When you take the depression checklist quiz at the doctor and check most of “severe” column, it makes you think…maybe there is a reason I am feeling this way. I know we as a nation think people are over medicated blah blah blah. But I AM on medicine now and this is the best I have felt in a long time. I have the spring in my step back, my creativity is bursting at the seams, I have joy again. I am fun with my children and husband again. I embrace each day happily instead of dreading it and wondering how may hours til I can go home and nap…then when can I go to bed? I no longer have thoughts of not being good enough. I no longer want to say :screw you!” to anyone that crosses my path or upsets me. I am happy to see my kids and hear about their day. I feel happy when my husband comes home from work instead of dreading it because it meant I had to have an idea of what to make for dinner. Each day flows smoothly and the bumps that come get worked thru instead of being coated over with food or wine. I never really knew how anxious about things I was until I wasn’t. I didn’t realize what a depressive funk I was in until I wasn’t. To always feel exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious on a normal day isn’t right. I shouldn’t have to breakdown because I need to unload the dishwasher. Yes, we do have days in our lives that can be tiring and overwhelming…that is not depression/anxiety. Anxiety is when you worry all the time about things you would normally not be so consumed with, worrying all night if your teenager will have a successful day at middle school or worry that you aren’t taking care of your family….then throw in the depression piece and all those things you still worry about, but you don’t care. All you care about is being left alone to sulk and sleep. The house is a mess, dinners are less than thrilling and your family annoys you. It is not fun having this evil twin – but my medicine gives her a one way ticket out of here. It feels good having her gone. ADIOS! And don’t let the door hit you in the ass!