While Memorial Day weekend is about honoring those who have died while serving our country…our Memorial weekend was about honoring our mom. This is usually the weekend we go up to my sister’s cabin…put the dock in, get the boat, clean and set up for summer…We did just that but without our mom and yet honoring her in so many ways.
This ride to the cabin was very different. Instead of riding with my family, I rode with my dad. This was his first time taking the 2 hour drive with out my mom as his co-pilot. While she rode with us, it was very different. We were bringing part of her in a mini urn…to be able to scatter some of her ashes at the lake where she enjoyed going and spending time with family. The car was packed a little lighter and he actually got to leave at the time he planned – she always had one more thing to pack, organize etc.
She was with us all in so many ways…she always loved her hot bucket of soapy water to clean…we did just that – we had all the cleaning stuff out – scrubbed down the deck, chairs, and porch. I am sure she was secretly judging our cleaning skills – ha ha. But we could feel her with us.
We sat around at night listening to music, laughing, playing cards and being the loud fun family she created. She was there with the songs we listened to, stories we told and the tears that stung our eyes as she was truly missed. No one was there to blame my dad for her losing her hand at cards – like it was ever his fault! No one to take an hour to cut up fruit in her precise perfect way….No one to greet us in the morning as we all woke up in stages. But yet she was there.
We did yard work. She always loved helping to weed out the flower garden and pull weeds all over the yard. This year we took an old garden and turned it into a garden to honor her. We transplanted some things, bought some new and planted some of her favorite flowers, including the daisy. Saturday evening we all gathered around the garden, her friends from NY on Facetime and we scattered some of her ashes into the garden and said a little prayer.
She will now always be with us at the cabin…not the way we need or want her to be…but so many things will remind us of her – especially the flowers that will bloom every year in her honor. So many family gatherings that just are not the same without her…it’s part of this thing they call “the new normal”. I do not much like this “new normal” but know it will get a little easier as time passes. But one thing that will always remain is the love for my mother and missing her so….