I always feel reflective and somewhat emotional on my birthday….I think it is because I slow down enough – if just for a day – to reflect, take time for me and think about the past year. By emotional I don’t mean all in a tizzy because I am turning a year older. Age does not bother me. I am 51 today and proud of it. Another year of life that I have been blessed. Age is a number, not a defying factor of who I am as a person. I can act like a 12 year old, a newly turned 21 year old and at times a frumpy old lady who just wants to stay home and be left alone. All in all, I love each birthday. Do I have more creeks and cracks and grey hair – absolutely! That is why we also have ibuprofen and hair color!
Today the word “Grateful” keeps coming to mind. And when I saw the quote “Interrupt anxiety with gratitude” it spoke to me. A year ago I was on too high of a dose of anxiety medicine (didn’t realize it). I was thinking I needed a higher dose – was feeling tired, sluggish, anxious about so much and then there is everyday life as a wife, mom, employee, daughter, sister, friend etc. I was feeling so overwhelmed and tired. The spring in my step was feeling worn down and squeaky. I wasn’t feeling grateful, I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I was missing “Jill” – the person I came to know and love over the years. She was missing – she put on a good show tho! I was feeling as tho it took twice the energy and acting to appear as my good ol’ self. That was tiring. I spoke with my doctor and she thought I needed to change my dose. Now a year later I am at half the dose….I AM BACK and it is AUTHENTIC JILL. While I think it is ok to need medicinal help…I also think you need a reality check along the way. I didn’t need MORE, I needed LESS.
Today – I feel grateful, not anxious. I am grateful that I have two healthy living parents, two awesome siblings who bring along their wonderful own families, an incredible husband who always supports me (even if we have different views), in laws that I cherish, two beautiful daughters who remind me everyday how lucky I am and a wonderful son whom I have reunited with – who brings a lovely wife and soon a baby to the picture! I have friends who have been by my side through all my craziness….friends who are ALWAYS there for me even when we don’t talk for days. Friends from my childhood that are still close to me and friends who make me laugh like I am a kid again. ALL these components make my life full of love and have complete peace.
Life is short. Be grateful for all that you have. Too many people get taken from us unexpectedly. Cherish those you love, forgive the ones that make you hurt, let go of things that make you feel less, be yourself!!! Call a family member, hug a friend, text your children, smile more, be kind, love fully and remember – AGE IS JUST A NUMBER!
Today….I am grateful, not anxious!