Jillsy's Blog

being a wife…birth mom…adoptive mom….dealing with infertillty & life

Mismatched China Patterns… May 10, 2017

Filed under: Uncategorized — jillsy @ 4:28 pm

mixed china I attended a very special wedding this weekend with my husband and daughters. It was small, intimate and perfect. It was in an old small charming church that has become a place for artists to perform, art shows and gatherings. The pews have marks, fading and years of character – much like the couples who attended and have been married for 5 years, 20 years or 50+ years. Stained glass windows with marvelous colors. Strands of white lights, fresh peonies and love filled this small venue. The music played in the background while people mingled and met. Laughter and conversation in every corner. The ceremony was short and sweet and filled with God, words of love and tears from the couple. The young man officiating the ceremony was a lifelong friend of the groom. You could feel and see the love in the room as the couple exchanged vows. Something about a small intimate gathering that feels much more meaningful than an over the top large one. It was a family only wedding with the exception of a few close friends.

After the ceremony we made our way down to the basement – old brick walls strung with white lights…tables covered with white linen, a runner of burlap, slices of tree trunk topped with old blue Mason jars filled with light pink peonies and roses…very romantic and full of charm. The cake – lemon – favorite flavor of the couple….beautifully frosted and topped with Star Wars items – next to cake a framed quote from Lord of the Rings…couldn’t have been more perfectly matched to the couple. The groom a huge Star Wars fan and the bride a huge Lord of the Rings fan. It wasn’t a multi tiered fancy cake with the iconic bride/groom topper on it. It was elegant and PERFECT for the couple – anyone who saw it knew just how perfect it was.

The place settings were my favorite. They were a metaphor for this day. Each place was mismatched china patterns. These dishes were collected over the past year by the groom’s mom and sister. A dinner plate, then a salad plate and then a cup and saucer all layered on top of one another. Separately, you may not of noticed the beauty in a single plate or cup, but when they were all brought together it was a beautiful collection of different prints and designs.. As I looked at the place settings I couldn’t help but think of all the family that was there…all mismatched in a way. The bride’s parents who had been divorced and both remarried, The groom’s parents who have been married almost 30 years, and me, his birth mother along with my husband and daughters. We all have different roles in their lives – important individually but when we all came together it was a beautiful complete setting.

I never thought I would be reunited with my birth son let a lone be at his wedding. My family felt very welcomed given the circumstances. We could set aside any anxiety or uncomfortable feelings we may have had about the situation and come together for the couple. Such a wonderful day. I admire his family so much. Stepping back and watching his whole family laugh, love and be themselves kind of drove home the feeling of “This is all I ever wanted for him”. God is good. Life is good. Somethings just fall into place the way they are supposed to. We need to be patient. Love is patient and kind.

Congratulations Joshua and Hannah!