Jillsy's Blog

being a wife…birth mom…adoptive mom….dealing with infertillty & life

Sweet 16…already? December 27, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — jillsy @ 9:35 am

maddie-16

Everyone always says “Enjoy your children, it goes by way too fast”. I think today is the day I fully feel it. My daughter turns 16 today and I cant help but feel so nostalgic. It seems like it was yesterday we were tearing open our envelope to see our first glimpse of this little Korean bundle that made us go from couple to family.

I cannot fully appreciate these amazing 16 years without thinking about a young Korean girl a world away that was also 16 and pregnant. The SAME AGE as her birth child is now. (that in itself is scary!!)  Being a birth mom I can understand how she must feel every year on this day. A confusing ball of emotions – hard to sift thru and process. I wish she could see this to know how beautiful this little baby has turned out to be. She gave us the most precious gift there is. I so hope one day we will meet. A piece of her heart is with our family and it makes me so emotional thinking about it. I have a beautiful 16 year old daughter because of her decision. Her loss filled my void…there are no words to give that feeling justice.

I have learned so much from this daughter of mine…how to be patient, how to let go, how to trust, how to love when you are angry, how to understand what my mom went thru with a teenage daughter (sorry mom!!). I have learned some battles aren’t worth fighting – so I will make a different meal for you – not everyone loves steak, I will let your room be messy to a point because organization is hard for you, I will help you with your laundry, I will let you wear what you want even if I think the other shirt looked better, I will let you make up your own swear words, I will let you have screen time BEFORE homework because I know you need that. I will be your biggest fan and your biggest protector. I will help you succeed in the way that works for YOU. I will love you when we disagree. I will love you when you say you hate me. I will always be your mom before your friend. I will check your phone, your social media stuff and will delete things I find inappropriate. I will not care what others get to do…I am not their mom. I am YOUR mom. I will stay up late when I am dog tired to help you get thru hard homework. I will let you talk non stop about a boy. I will hug you when you want to mad. I will hug you when you are sad. I will be hard on you because I believe in you. I will challenge you because I know you can do it. I will let you fail so you can learn. I will also love you more than anyone else on this planet can…

On this 16th year of your life I wish nothing but happiness for you Madeline Elizabeth…or Maddie as you prefer. You are beautiful, talented, funny, self confident, smart, loving and strong…I have learned so much from you. Always be yourself. Remember, you are a pink Starburst!!!

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