I have always been comfortable with my age. I have never hated turning a certain decade. Altho at times I lie about it, but that is mostly because I feel younger than I actually am and I am a smart ass by nature. Is it that I feel younger or just love my age and my life? Don’t get me wrong, there certainly are days where it is hard to get out of bed and get going…but everyone has those. I sit here with my 30th class reunion a week away…THIRTY YEARS…30…..30. WOW. It does not feel like I have been out of high school for THIRTY YEARS! Where does all that time go and how did we navigate through all of it and make it this far? I think of everything I have been through in 30 years and realize I am lucky. The road was not always easy, in fact there were years that were down right hard. But I believe friendships get you through it.
I have many longtime friends. Family friends since I was a child, high school friends, college friends and friends I have come to know from becoming a mom. Sure, life makes you close and then life takes you away. But you still find your way back and that friendship is as strong as it was in the beginning.
There is this group of us women, some of us don’t talk on a daily or even weekly basis except for Facebook or a text, some of us see each other daily and some of us it could be months…One thing that is constant when we do get together – laughter.
Last night was a night where we finally ALL got together….our schedules were cleared. Husband and kids were busy. It was just us 40 something year old women giddy to be out and having fun. The noise level at my friends house was incredible from laughter, stories, swearing, popping corks out of wine and just pure joy. We lifted each other up in ways only a girlfriend can do. We talked about serious stuff – death of friends, problems with our children, stress of life, new relationships and then we talked about lighthearted stuff. We discussed things as tho we were teen girls – Hollywood crushes that would be our “freebie” – John Stamos, John Bon Jovi, Robert Downey Jr and Rob Lowe would have blushed at how we discussed them, googled them and giggled like a bunch of teen girls at a sleepover. We discussed our favorite doctors and even a cute OB/GYN some of us have shared. We discussed politics – well mostly laughed about it. We discussed the cons of being older – so many of us yelling “me too!!!!” with issues of body image, stray hairs, grey hairs, lack of/renewed sex drives, sagging parts, wrinkling parts and lipstick vs. chapstick. We all realized we can love our spouse and children more than anything in the world and still be able to hate them at times too. We are all different body types, boob types, heights, hair color etc but one thing we all have in common is that we are all in our 40’s and we take comfort in who we are and where we are.
This is the age of life that we say this is who we are – take it or leave it. I am not going to change to be something I am not. I don’t have a high power career and I don’t stay home all day either – I don’t make big money and guess what – I am so fine with that. I look to Target for fashion and I am good with that too. I have wrinkles, but that is good – it means I laugh and cry (and love the sun too much). I don’t need to look and act 20 or 30. I am good at 48. I am good because my tribe lifts me up and gives me strength.
We have raised our children together…some grew up together and some new friends. We have the same mom struggles. We aren’t all baseball moms, dance moms, sports moms etc. In fact very few of us have kids in the same groups. Our children range from toddler age up to high school age and older. We have had similar journeys with raising our children. To baptize or not? To circumcise or not? Teach kids about the scary world. How to be safe online…how to talk vs. text within the same walls. How we deal with teen drama. Driving, high school….it just never ends. That is why you need your tribe of friends. They are the ones that get you thru it – with laughter, wine and a listening ear.
These women make me a better mom, wife and all over person. They make me realize it is ok to be loud, quirky, funny, inappropriate, stressed, crazy, and tired. It is ok to enjoy going to bed at 9 pm on a weekend but yet it is also ok to drink and dance past midnight. It is ok to say no. It is ok to make fun of ourselves. It is ok to be saggy and naggy. It is ok to have different opinions, political and religious views. It is ok to get older.
Find your tribe and love them hard!