Twenty Eight Years…

       IMG_2618     I’ve sat here this past week looking through a journal from a dear friend, letter from my mom, cards from friends, letters from an old boyfriend and a thick folder of medical and adoption papers. All these items mean so much to me and every year at this time I pull them out and look through the pages of history that changed my life.

Twenty eight years ago…I was a scared 18 year old. I was about to experience a day in my life that would change me in so many ways. I still felt more like a child than an adult woman. I still needed my mom and dad. I was scared, anxious and didn’t realize the magnitude my life would change until 20 something years after. I was a pregnant young girl about to have a baby. A baby that I would not meet until shortly before his 23rd birthday. No longer a baby but a grown adult.

This “baby” turns 28 today. It warms my heart that for the last 5 years I have been able to wish him Happy Birthday in person…instead of wondering just how I should feel. I always would shed tears on this day and would feel so alone – no one could understand the depth of the feelings I had – even myself. I have grown into my feelings and understand them so much better now. I feel very blessed to be able to wish Joshua a Happy BIRTHday, celebrate him and have him in my life. June 16th is a beautiful day as it always has been – just less lonely, less messy with crazy emotions I couldn’t understand and now filled with happiness and love. Happy Birthday Joshua!


2 thoughts on “Twenty Eight Years…”

  1. I am thinking of you Today …recalling so many events in your journey. I see so many good changes in and for you the past couple of years. Finally seeing and knowing Josh has filled in some empty spaces and taken your journey in many new directions. Today is a happier day than it has been in the past , I can feel happier for you

  2. Did I ever realize that Josh shared June 16 with John. I am so happy for you Jill and for Josh and proud of your ability to open it up for others to help heal and experience the joy that the gift of life should bring. Oh my someday we will have to meet him! Love, Connie

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