Jillsy's Blog

being a wife…birth mom…adoptive mom….dealing with infertillty & life

The Perfect Family… February 23, 2011

Filed under: family — jillsy @ 7:00 am

The familyWe were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck

What IS a perfect family? As a little girl playing with my sister and neighbor friends out back in our playhouse…we had the perfect family: A mom (one of us) our husband (Shaun Cassidy, Donny Osmond or a local high schooler we all had crushes on), our baby (ratty doll we would call ‘chicken legs’ and fight over) and one on the way (a wodded up blanket shoved under our shirt). Yep…a mother, a father and 2 kids. That to us was a perfect and normal family. That is what we had growing up (until my brother came along and then it was 3 kids, oh and the family pet).  That is what Leave it to Beaver had in the 50-60’s (a hard working father, a mother who stayed at home and doted on her family and two boys). Of course back then there was divorce, and non traditional relationships or even single moms too…but that wasn’t the “norm”. Then The Brady Bunch dared to be different…a widowed/divorced mother of three girls that married a widowed/divorced dad of three boys, a housekeeper and a dog. Tho the family never spoke of their “other parents” or ever yelled “your not my REAL dad/mom” – they married and POOF! an instant family. I assume Mike and Carol adopted each other’s children???  Now flash forward to 2011…a popular sitcom on TV now is Modern Family (which I love and watch weekly without fail!). There are three families: a father who has married a woman half his age from a different culture and a step son. A woman who is married to a man with 3 children. And a man who is in a relationship with his gay partner and they adopted a baby girl of a different race.  How our definition of the “perfect & normal family” has changed.  Even my “perfect and normal”  family is far different than the one I played, dreamed of and planned. (those who know me and my family – I use the word “normal” loosely! ha ha) Yes, I am married to the man I love (who was married before). Yes we have children….in the non traditional sense. I have a 23 year old birth son – the only child I have given birth to yet he has a mom and dad – and I have only had a relationship with him for less than a year.  I have two daughters a 7 year old and a 10 year old -both adopted – both from South Korea. And yet, to me this is THE perfect and normal family. I wouldn’t change it for the world. So many scenarios, people, places, and circumstances make up the “perfect and normal” family. What is your perfect family?   

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