Adoption, birth mom, family, infertility, mom, Uncategorized

A New Year…

10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…..HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Every year’s end is celebrated the same: parties…confetti…champagne…hats….annoying noise makers…countdown and kisses at midnight. So then what? Yes, a NEW year has arrived. 2011!  People make all kinds of resolutions that last a few weeks (some even longer) – spend less money, loss weight, exercise more, be heathlier, nicer and more patient and the list goes on. Why is it that we wait for a brand new year to have those goals – just so we can remake them at the start of the next year and repeat every new year from here on out?  If you want to lose weight – do it – why wait for New Years Day? If you want to be nicer – do it…see where I am going with this?

“A new year is unfolding – like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing beauty within”

My mom’s birthday is New Year’s Eve – I always thought that was a great night for a birthday – all the hoopla and fan fair all wrapped into a birthday at the same time! But while it is still a cool night….how about a cool way to start the next year of your life?

I am one of those people that make the same resolutions as everyone else and fail. This year I want to make personal goals – not so much “resolutions”, but things that are good for ME and in return will be good for the ones I care about.  I want to be more patient – with my family, friends and not rush thru life, but enjoy the day to day to the fullest. I want to hold my children more and let them know they are loved more than anything….let my husband know that he IS my rock and best friend and I love him so, let my family know that with them life is so wonderful and my friends know that they keep me sane and in laughter everytime I see them.  I want to say yes more to things I would quickly say no to and say no more to the things I would say yes to.  Balance – keeping ME in check so that the rest of my life is in check.

“The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we have a new soul”

Start the new year with open eyes and an open heart….embrace every day as the true gift it is.  Love one another. Be kind and patient. Laugh more!

Happy 2011 to all of you – may your year be new and fresh and full of life!

Adoption, birth mom, family, infertility, mom, Uncategorized



noun \ˈgra-tə-ˌtüd, -ˌtyüd\ 

the state of being grateful : thankfulness

     This is the time of year where we get caught up in the decorating, the shopping, the spending, the wrapping,  the cards, the holiday letter, the baking, the entertaining….the list goes on. (and on and on…)  While I LOVE all of those things in and each of theirselves….put them all together…toss in kids, family, the rest of the world and everyday life – you get a stressful holiday season. I am guilty of wanting things perfect – pefect wrapping paper, perfect bows, the perfect Christmas card etc. etc. This year I am really trying to take in the holiday and appreciate the meaning of it – not the retail of it all.  I even bought the prepacked tacky shiny bows to adorn my gifts this year (my sister will appreciate what that really means for me!!!)  Instead of MAKING the perfect card, I went with a photo card like the rest of the world – and made the picture creative (less time and check that off the list!).  Cookies are baked – all sizes and shapes – no two are alike or perfect, but the dough was delicious! It is taking the PERFECT EXPECTATIONS OCD out of my holiday this year and making it memorable and FUN, not chaotic and stressful.

Along with the holiday details comes the school/church events. My daughter Maddie is in dance at church – this weekend is the big Christmas Show…I have been so bitter about being there every Sunday for practices, late dress rehearsals on a school night and spending pretty much the entire upcoming weekend there that I had forgotten the big picture – how proud I am of her, how precious the smile on her face is and the joy of her confidence and excitement of it all. THAT is what is important….not ME and MY time.  Olivia has her school music program next week – again – anxious about getting there early enough to save seats, find a parking spot and hope the camera works. Olivia who hates to perform in front of a crowd – will be up on stage with her classmates belting out Christmas songs and I will love every minute watching her…..and being proud of her.

Family – I think that is the best part of the holidays. Not the gift getting, but the giving and sharing of the holiday spirit. Being able to be with family members when others may not be as lucky. Having a job, a home and a healthy family – that is what matters….not the biggest or bestest gifts.  Having gratitude for all the little things that matter….a home when it is below zero, family & friends so you never feel alone, silly things children do to make you laugh instead of the insignificant things that make you crabby.

I encourage everyone this holiday season to stop, breathe and find 3 things everyday you are grateful for……  

My three things to be grateful for today are: 1.) Mike 2.) my girls 3.) Joshua in my life




No sex please, we’re married

I was reading this book Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breatnach and had to share the entry for December 3rd….For those of you married with children, this is for you!

No Sex Please, We’re Married

Remember when we used to call sex “sleeping together”? How prophetic. There’s one one that Nostradomus missed.  Having touched on the sublimation of sex for art, let’s meditate for a moment on the profound but necessary sublimation of sex for survival. Not survival of the species. Survival of the sleep starved. The woman I know lust after twelve hours of uninterrupted slumber. The only married women having sex as often as the magazines and marriage experts tell us we should be are on the soaps. Often the real life demands of family and work mean that married women discover there are many ways to make love besides missionary position:turning the lights down low, handing him a nightcap, and joining him to watch a weekly news show that presents his political point of view; asking how his favorite teams are doing and listening to the answer; sleeping on the couch so that you can rest when his cough sounds like a foghorn; sending him to the auto show alone; never going to sleep without saying “I love you”; calling once a day just to see how it is going; attending a couple’s massage workshop to learn how to do it to yourselves; remembering his mother’s birthday; wearing socks to bed; telling each other how nice you look; touching; creating a private language; filling up the tank; picking up a magazine he’d like at the newsstand; renewing her books at the library; doing the crossword puzzle together; fixing each other’s favorite meals a couple times a week; reading, talking, laughing, crying together in bed.  “Exhaustion and lack of privacy make intimate moments of raw passion tarer than in our courting days” attorney and writer Linda Aaker reassures the married chaste among us. “Sex is also meeting your partner’s eyes over the tousled head of a child…Sex is sometimes just sleeping well beside the person you love, and drinking coffee together.”