Jillsy's Blog

being a wife…birth mom…adoptive mom….dealing with infertillty & life

Patient August 16, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — jillsy @ 4:26 pm
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not a patient person. Our society doesn’t allow you to be patient  – we live in a world of instant gratification. Webster’s dictionary defines it as follows:
Main Entry: 1pa·tient
Pronunciation: \ˈpā-shənt\
Function: adjective

1 : bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint
2 : manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain
3 : not hasty or impetuous

There are all types of quotes about being patient:

Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.

 “All good things come to he who waits

And Guns n’ Roses even sing about it:

” All we need is just a little patience”

I may not be a patient person, but I do believe God has tested me in this arena. I have been in situations that have tested my patience and forced me to be patient.  Starting as far back as high school – took 3 tries to master Algebra  – THREE TRIES – altho that may have been a test for my teachers vs myself! ha ha

 Mike and I wanted children so bad – 6 years of infertility and then a year of paperwork and waiting to adopt a child, not once but twice.  No instant gratification there. We learned to be patient with one another and that actually drew us closer as a couple. And I think made us appreciate our family that took so to create.

My daughter Maddie was diagnosed with ADHD  a couple years ago and was very impulsive.  We HAD to be patient and figure out her wiring so that we could accommodate HER.  That is a test of patience – especially when she is scared of thunderstorms so bad she shakes, can’t concentrate on homework or acts before she thinks and results in mad mom and dad. Being patient shows her we love her and understand her. 

I have learned patience with meeting my birth son – 23 years of patience.  The choices I made were the right ones – especially for him. Tho I always wondered and dreamed about him, but had to be patient and not act on my wishes – HIS world had to come first and I could not go disrupt it.  It took me so many tries to write that perfect letter…waiting to the right moment to mail it….wait and see if I would hear from him…..wait to meet him and continue to wait for a relationship to form. So much more than just meeting a few times and hitting it off….how does HIS family feel about it all? How does my family feel about it all? More than just my feelings.  I continue to wait patiently and see what it will all progess to…

Patience is a hard thing.  Your heart wants you to do one thing but your head is saying “patience Jill, patience”… so I wait and keep busy and practice  being patient.

 

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