Adoption, birth mom, family, infertility, mom, Uncategorized

May 11th…

A person waits and waits for a certain event to happen – and when it does, it still takes your breath away…
It had been a couple weeks since I sent my letter to Joshua’s parents. Everyday I wondered…did they even read it? If they did, did they tell him? Does he even know about me? So many questions. I thought about all these scenarios before I mailed it, but now I was thinking worse case…ok, they didnt tell him about the letter because he doesnt even know…they told him and he has no interest – he has a mom and dad…they told him and he is angry…but a part of me was hoping they told him and he wanted to get in touch. That I thought was a long shot…but my gut kept thinking it would be all good – but was it a true gut feeling or a hopeful dream? Time would tell – at least I hoped.
Tuesday May 11th – it was about 10:30 pm…I was on the couch watching TV trying to motivate myself to go up and go to bed – had slept crappy the last two night because I wasnt feeling that great…I SO looked forward to going to bed. I got up off the couch half asleep and thought “I will quick check email and shut down the computer” ..checked email – nothing new – just my normal SPAM email about wheelchairs and buying drugs cheap – then I quick checked Facebook to see what was new with my Facebook friends – and had a message….I click on the tab…I froze. It was a email form Joshua! My sleepy state of mind just was jolted into wide awake, cant believe it, excited frame of mind – there was no going to bed now! So I read it – I cried…tears of joy and shock. He DID know. And he sounded GOOD about getting touch. He said he always wondered when this day would come – sounded like he felt the same way I did – nervous but excited…Then I ran and found Mike – “I got an email from Joshua!!!” – he came in – read it…gave me a hug. He knew how long I was waiting for this day. Then left me to write him back. What do I say? How do I take 22 years and just quick write back?!?! I am a talker and cant limit myself to just a “hey – good to hear from you!” – I just started typing and let the words come out and then sent it on it’s way. Did I sound dorky? Too anxious? Overwhelming? “too much Jillsy” as my siblings would say?? Talk about not sleeping again that night – I tossed and turned and couldnt wait to get up and see if there was a response back. And sure enough there was…and so started the beautiful journey of what I hoped and dreamed to be a wonderful new relationship.

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1 thought on “May 11th…”

  1. Jill- I am so happy for you. I remember how hard Joshua’s birthday was when we were in college and I often would think about you at that time of year and wonder how you were. It is wonderful that you are now at this place in your life and willing to share it with your friends. Thank You – you are amazing.

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