Jillsy's Blog

being a wife…birth mom…adoptive mom….dealing with infertillty & life

Are they sisters? June 23, 2010

Filed under: Adoption,birth mom,family,infertility,mom,Uncategorized — jillsy @ 9:25 am

When you have children, strangers always have something to say or ask.
“Isnt she just precious” (thanks, it’s a BOY!), “They are a handful!” (nope, just regular kids having a fun time), “She looks tired” (no, she is asian). When you have adopted children from a different country, you get a whole new world of questions and comments. Things you would never ask people with birth children. When I am in the store with my girls and not Mike: “Are they adopted?” – ok, what if I had a Korean husband? Would you ask someone that if the mom had blond hair & brown eyes and the child bright red hair and ocean blue eyes? No. If I do decide to answer them that yes, they are adopted, I get the response “oh, what a wonderful thing you did” – I am sorry, we did not go into an orphanage and “save” them from despair. No, we wanted children and could not have them – so we adopted. We did it for US. My favorite question of all time – and it usually comes from the senior citizen generation – “Are they sisters?” …. I KNOW what they mean – did they have the same birth mom – a.) Is it any of your business? b.) Does it matter? c.) Would you ask the all american white couple with two blond hair blue eyed girls that? No, no and No! When this happens I bite my tongue and politely say “They are now!” – when really I want to put on my sarcastic face and put on a white trashy accent and say “No, they have different daddys!” and light up a cigarette and crack open a Budwieser. But no, I smile politely and do the right thing. A couple years ago there was a cashier at Home Depot who asked that question – Mike answered the “They are now” and we smiled politely and left. Now, the girls were 5 and 7 – old enough to be aware and wonder why someone was asking that. So we got home and were eating lunch – Mike asked the girls “Are you two sisters?” Maddie (7 at the time) answered “We have the same haircut, we both like chips and we both love you and mommy, yes, we are sisters” – with a kind of “daa!” to her voice – PERFECT answer.

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